For all you Christmas lovers out there!!
FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 4 November 2004
RE: Christmas Party
I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols .... please feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if the MD shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00pm. Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only for employees! The MD will make a special announcement at the Party.
Merry Christmas to you and your Family.
Pauline
TO: All Employees
DATE: 4 November 2004
RE: Christmas Party
I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols .... please feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if the MD shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00pm. Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only for employees! The MD will make a special announcement at the Party.
Merry Christmas to you and your Family.
Pauline
FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 5 November 2004
RE: Holiday Party
In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognise that Chanukah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party". The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians. There will be no Christmas tree or Christmas carols sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment. Happy now?
Happy Holidays to you and your family. Pauline
TO: All Employees
DATE: 5 November 2004
RE: Holiday Party
In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognise that Chanukah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party". The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians. There will be no Christmas tree or Christmas carols sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment. Happy now?
Happy Holidays to you and your family. Pauline
FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 6 November 2004
RE: Holiday Party
Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table ... you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA Only"; you wouldn't be anonymous anymore!!!!! How am I supposed to handle this? Somebody? Forget about the gift exchange, no gift exchange allowed now since the Union Officials feel that $10.00 is too much money and Management believe $10.00 is a little cheap. NO GIFT EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.
Pauline
TO: All Employees
DATE: 6 November 2004
RE: Holiday Party
Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table ... you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA Only"; you wouldn't be anonymous anymore!!!!! How am I supposed to handle this? Somebody? Forget about the gift exchange, no gift exchange allowed now since the Union Officials feel that $10.00 is too much money and Management believe $10.00 is a little cheap. NO GIFT EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.
Pauline
FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees DATE: 7 November 2004
RE: Holiday Party
What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslin employees' beliefs, perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party - or else package everything up for you to take home in a little foil doggy bag. Will that work? Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the toilets. Gays are allowed to sit with each other, Lesbians do not have to sit with gay men, each will have their own table. Yes, there will be flower arrangements for the gay men's table too. To the person asking permission to cross dress - no cross dressing allowed. We will have booster seats for short people. Low fat food will be available for those on a diet. We cannot control the salt used in the food we suggest those people with high blood pressure taste the food first. There will be fresh fruits as dessert for Diabetics, the restaurant cannot supply "No Sugar" desserts. Sorrry! Did I miss anything ?!?!?!?! Pauline
TO: All Employees DATE: 7 November 2004
RE: Holiday Party
What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslin employees' beliefs, perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party - or else package everything up for you to take home in a little foil doggy bag. Will that work? Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the toilets. Gays are allowed to sit with each other, Lesbians do not have to sit with gay men, each will have their own table. Yes, there will be flower arrangements for the gay men's table too. To the person asking permission to cross dress - no cross dressing allowed. We will have booster seats for short people. Low fat food will be available for those on a diet. We cannot control the salt used in the food we suggest those people with high blood pressure taste the food first. There will be fresh fruits as dessert for Diabetics, the restaurant cannot supply "No Sugar" desserts. Sorrry! Did I miss anything ?!?!?!?! Pauline
FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All F****** Employees
DATE: 8 November 2004
RE: The F****** Holiday Party
Vegetarian pricks I've had it with you people!!! We're going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so quaintly put it, and you'll get your f****** salad bar, including organic tomatoes. But you know tomatoes have feelings too. They scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them scream right NOW !!
I hope you all have a rotten holiday, drink drive and die. The Bitch from HELL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TO: All F****** Employees
DATE: 8 November 2004
RE: The F****** Holiday Party
Vegetarian pricks I've had it with you people!!! We're going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so quaintly put it, and you'll get your f****** salad bar, including organic tomatoes. But you know tomatoes have feelings too. They scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them scream right NOW !!
I hope you all have a rotten holiday, drink drive and die. The Bitch from HELL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FROM: John Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director
DATE: 9 November 2004
RE: Pauline Lewis and Holiday Party
I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Pauline Lewis a speedy recovery and I'll continue to forward your cards to her. In the meantime, the Management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and instead give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd December off with full pay.
Happy Holidays !
DATE: 9 November 2004
RE: Pauline Lewis and Holiday Party
I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Pauline Lewis a speedy recovery and I'll continue to forward your cards to her. In the meantime, the Management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and instead give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd December off with full pay.
Happy Holidays !
クリスマス好きの皆様へ！！
From: 人事部長 ポーリーン・ルイスTo: 社員の皆様
日付: 2004/11/4
クリスマスパーティについて
会社主催のクリスマスパーティが12/23に開かれます。場所はグリルハウスの個室で正午から始まります。バーもあり、飲み物もたくさん用意します！バンドによる伝統的なクリスマスキャロルの演奏もあります．．．ぜひ一緒に歌ってください。それから社長がサンタクロースの格好で現れても驚かないでくださいね！クリスマスツリーは午後１時に点灯します。その際にクリスマスプレゼントの交換が出来ます、でもプレゼントの金額は10ドルを超えないようにしてください。お小遣いにひびかないようにね。このパーティは社員のみの集まりです！社長からの特別な発表がパーティであります。
あなたとあなたの家族に素晴らしいクリスマスを。
ポーリーン
From: 人事部長 ポーリーン・ルイス
To: 社員の皆様
日付: 2004/11/5
ホリデイパーティについて
昨日のメールはユダヤ人の従業員の皆さんをのけ者にしたりするつもりはまったくありません。クリスマスと重なることが多いハヌカーが重要なイベントである事は充分認識していますが、残念な事に今年は重ならないので同時に祝えませんね。ということで、今回のこのパーティは「ホリデイパーティ」と呼ぶことにします。このポリシーはキリスト教徒でないすべての従業員にも適用されます。パーティではクリスマスツリーはなく、クリスマスキャロルも歌われません。パーティでは違うタイプの音楽が演奏されます。これで良いかしら？
あなたとあなたの家族に素晴らしいホリデイを。ポーリーン
From: 人事部長 ポーリーン・ルイス
To: 社員の皆様
日付: 2004/11/6
ホリデイパーティについて
昨日匿名禁酒同盟のメンバーの方から禁酒席を設けることをメモで申請されました．．．名前が書いてなかったわよ。この申請を受けたいんだけど、テーブルに「匿名禁酒同盟メンバーのみ」と書いたら全然匿名じゃなくなっちゃうじゃない！！！どうしたらいいって言うの？誰かわかる？ プレゼント交換は忘れてちょうだい。組合の幹部が10ドルは多すぎると感じているし、経営陣は10ドルのプレゼントなんか安すぎるって感じてるから。プレゼント交換は一切なしです。
ポーリーン
From: 人事部長 ポーリーン・ルイス
To: 社員の皆様
日付: 2004/11/7
ホリデイパーティについて
こんなに色々なグループの人がうちの会社にいたんですね！12/20がイスラムのラマダンの開始日だったなんてまったく知らなかったわ。昼間に飲み食いが禁止されているなんて。それ自体がパーティみたいなもんね！まじめな話、イスラム教徒の皆さんの信仰をどうやってパーティで実現するか判断に迷うわ。もしかしたらグリルハウスにパーティが終わるまで食事は出さないで、と言えるかも−それかアルミフォイルに包んでもらって家に持ち帰るというのはどうかしら？それで大丈夫かしら？それと、肥満解消教室の皆さんはデザートビュッフェから一番遠い席を用意して、妊娠女性のためにトイレから一番近い席を用意しました。ゲイの皆様は一緒に座っていいです。レズビアンの方はゲイの男性と一緒に座る必要はありません。別々のテーブルを用意しました。もちろんゲイの皆様にもお花の用意をしてありますよ。異性の服を着たいという要望を出された方、今回異性の服を着るのはなしです。背の低い方には底上げした椅子を用意しています。ダイエット中の方には脂肪分の少ない食事を用意しました。塩の量を調節するのは不可能ですので、高血圧の方は最初に味を確認してから食べてください。レストランでは「砂糖不使用」のデザートは用意できませんので、糖尿病の方のためにはフレッシュフルーツをデザートに用意しています。ごめんなさい、何か書き忘れてるかしら？！？！？！ポーリーン
From: 人事部長 ポーリーンルイス
To: ファッキン社員の皆様
日付: 2004/11/8
ファッキンホリデイパーティについて
菜食主義者達、あんたらの言うことはもう嫌気がさしたわ！！あんたらが好むと好まざると、このパーティはグリルハウスで開きます、だからあんた達は「死のグリル」（あんたらの奇妙な呼び方よ）から一番遠い席に座って。有機トマトもあるファッキンサラダバーもあるから。でもさ、トマトも感情があるって知ってるかしら。スライスすると叫び声をあげるのよ。私聞いたんだから。たった今も聞こえて来るわ！！
みんなひどいホリデイを迎えるといいわ。飲酒運転で死んでおしまい！地獄のメス狐より！！！！！！！！！！
From: 人事部長代理 ジョン・ビショップ
日付: 2004/11/7
ホリデイパーティとポーリーンルイスについて
ポーリーン・ルイスが早く回復出来ることを社員の皆様と同様祈っております。社員の皆様から送られたクリスマスカードは責任を持って病院に届けます。今回の件で経営陣はホリデイパーティを中止することに決定しました。代わりに23日の午後は有給休暇とします。
良いホリデイを！
