Mad Cow Disease
Once there was this farmer, his wife, and his three college age sons. One day, right after getting up in the morning, his wife went outside to milk the cow. To her surprise, she saw the cow dead, lying on the ground Extremely distraught, and knowing the cow was their only source of nutrients, the woman slit her wrists and committed suicide. A little while later, the farmer woke up. He went outside, only to find his wife and the cow dead, laying on the ground. He was so upset, that he took the same knife and slit his throat, committing suicide.A couple hours later, the farmers oldest son woke up. He went outside to find his parents, and saw them both dead on the ground, along with the cow. He couldn't take it, and threw himself into the nearby river to drown. Right as he started sinking, he felt a push upward, and was set back on the shore by a beautiful mermaid. He couldn't believe it!
The mermaid said to him, "I'll make you a deal. If you can make love to me 5 times, then I will bring your parents and your cow back to life."
He was eager to take her up on her offer, and of course did, but after 3 times, he pooped out. The mermaid threw him back in the water to drown.
Meanwhile, the second oldest son woke up, and found his parents and the cow dead, and proceeded to throw himself into the river as well. The mermaid found him as well, and made the same offer, except, with him being younger, she raised it to 10 times. Of course he took her up on the deal, but after 7 times, he was exhausted, and she threw him into the river.
The youngest son eventually woke up, and seeing his parents dead, and not knowing where his two older brothers went, he threw himself into the river. The mermaid found him, and with him being the prime age, she said "Tell you what, make love to me 20 times, and I'll bring your 2 old brothers back, your parents, and your cow!" He said to her "Hey, why no raise that to 25, or 30!!!!!!!" She said "If you can make love to me 30 times, not only will I bring your family back, but I will also make you rich."
He agreed, but was a little hesitant. He said "Well, hmm.. how do I know you're not gonna die like the cow?"
狂牛病
あるところに農家が妻と３人の大学生の年頃の息子と一緒に住んでいた。ある日、朝起きた直後に妻が牛の乳を搾りに外に出る。驚いたことに、彼女は牛が狂気の様相で死んでいるのを見つけ、牛が唯一の栄養源であることを知っている彼女は手首を切り、自殺をしてしまった。少したって、旦那が起きる。彼は外に出るが、妻と牛が地面に倒れて死んでいるのを見つけるだけだった。彼はすごく取り乱し、同じナイフを取り上げると、喉を切り自殺してしまう。約２時間後、農家の一番年上の息子が目を覚ます。彼が外に出ると、両親と牛が地面に倒れて死んでいるのを見つける。彼はとても耐えられなくて、近くの河に身を投げ溺れる。彼が沈んでいきそうになるところで、彼は下から押す力を感じ、やがて河縁に美しい人魚によって押し上げられる。彼は信じられなかった！
人魚は彼に言う、「一つの賭けをしましょう。あなたが私の事を５回愛することが出来たら、あなたの両親と牛を生き返らせてあげます。」
彼はとてもやる気で、もちろんする、しかし３回目の後、彼は降参した。人魚は彼を河にほうり込み溺れさせてしまう。
その頃、２番目の息子が起き、彼の両親と牛が死んでいるのを見つける。彼も河に自分の身を投げ入れる。人魚が彼をまた見つけ、また同じ賭けをする、ただ彼が少し若いので、回数を１０回にあげた。もちろん彼はその賭けをのむが、７回目の後、彼は疲れてしまい、人魚は彼を河にほうり込む。
一番若い息子がそのうち起きる、そして両親が死んでいるのをみて、兄達がどこにいるのかも分からず、彼も河に自分の身を投げる。人魚は彼を見つけ、彼がもっとも盛んな年頃であることから、彼女は言う、「こんなのどう？２０回私を愛してちょうだい、そうしたらあなたの二人の兄と、両親と牛をみんな生き返らせてあげるわ！」 彼は人魚に言う、「おい、２５回か３０回にしたらどうだ！！！」 人魚は言う、「もしあなたが３０回私の事を愛することが出来たら、家族を生き返らせるだけじゃなくて、お金持ちにしてあげるわ。」
彼は賛成する、しかし少し戸惑っている。彼は言う、「まあ、うん．．．あんたが牛みたいに死んじゃったらどうしたらいいんだ？」
