Freezing to Death
Two men waiting at the Pearly Gates strike up a conversation.
"How'd you die?" the first man asks the second.
"I froze to death," says the second.
"That's awful," says the first man.
"How does it feel to freeze to death?"
"It's very uncomfortable at first," says the second man. "You get the shakes, and you get pains in all your fingers and toes. But eventually, it's a very calm way to go. You get numb and you kind of drift off, as if you're sleeping. How about you, how did you die?"
"I had a heart attack," says the first man. "You see, I knew my wife was cheating on me, so one day I showed up at home unexpectedly. I ran up to the bedroom and found her alone, knitting. I ran down to the basement, but no one was hiding there either. I ran up to the second floor, but no one was hiding there either. I ran as fast as I could to the attic, and just as I got there, I had a massive heart attack and died."
The second man shakes his head. "That's so ironic," he says.
"What do you mean?" asks the first man.
"If you had only stopped to look in the freezer, we'd both still be alive."
凍死
2人の男が天国の門で会話を始める。「君はどうやって死んだんだい？」と最初の男が2人目に質問する。
「凍死したんだ。」と2人目が答える。
「そりゃひどい。」と1人目が言う。
「凍死するってのはどんな感じなんだい？」
「最初はとっても不快なんだ。ふるえが来て、全部の手と足の指先が痛くなってくる。だけど段々、静かな感じになってくるんだ。体中何も感じなくなってきて、眠るときみたいにうとうとしてくる。ところで君はどうなんだい？どうやって死んだの？」
「俺は心臓発作だった。あのな、うちの奥さんが浮気をしてるのを知っていて、ある日予告無くいきなり家に帰ったんだ。寝室まで駆け上がると、妻が一人で編み物をしていた。地下に駆け下りたが、誰も隠れてはいなかった。2階に駆け上がってみたが、そこにも誰も隠れていなかった。屋根裏に全速力で駆け上がって、ちょうどたどり着いた時、ひどい心臓発作が起きて、死んじまったんだ。」
2人目は首を振りながらこう言う。「それは本当に皮肉的だ。」
「どういう意味だい？」と最初の男が聞く。
「もし君が気づいて冷凍庫の中を見さえすれば、二人とも生きてたというのに。」
