Smart Old Lady
A little old lady went into the Bank of Canada one day, carrying a bag of money. She insisted that she must speak with the president of the bank to open a savings account because, "It's a lot of money!"After much hemming and hawing, the bank staff finally ushered her into the president's office (the customer is always right!). The bank president then asked her how much she would like to deposit.
She replied, "$165,000!" and dumped the cash out of her bag onto his desk.
The president was of course curious as to how she came by all this cash, so he asked her, "Ma'am, I'm surprised you're carrying so much cash around. Where did you get this money?"
The old lady replied, "I make bets."
The president then asked, "Bets? What kind of bets?"
The old woman said, "Well, for example, I'll bet you $25,000 that your balls are square."
"Ha!" laughed the president, "That's a stupid bet. You can never win that kind of bet!" The old lady challenged, "So, would you like to take my bet?"
"Sure," said the president, "I'll bet $25,000 that my balls are not square!"
The little old lady then said, "Okay, but since there is a lot of money involved, may I bring my lawyer with me tomorrow at 10:00 AM as a witness?"
"Sure!" replied the confident president.
That night, the president got very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of a mirror checking his balls, turning from side to side, again and again. He thoroughly checked them out until he was sure that there was absolutely no way his balls were square and that he would win the bet.
The next morning, at precisely 10:00 am, the little old lady appeared with her lawyer at the president's office. She introduced the lawyer to the president and repeated the bet:
"$25,000 says the president's balls are square!"
The president agreed with the bet again and the old lady asked him to drop his pants so they could all see. The president complied. The little old lady peered closely at his balls and then asked if she could feel them.
"Well, Okay," said the president, "$25,000 is a lot of money, so I guess you should be absolutely sure." Just then, he noticed that the lawyer was quietly banging his head against the wall.
The president asked the old lady, "What the hell's the matter with your lawyer?"
She replied, "Nothing, except I bet him $100,000 that at 10:00AM today, I'd have The Bank of Canada's president's balls in my hand."
賢い老婆
小さな老婆がバッグに入ったお金を持ってカナダ銀行に入って行く。彼女は「とってもたくさんのお金だから！」と口座を開くのに頭取と話をすることに固執した。色々とぐずぐずしているうちにようやく銀行の人は頭取のオフィスへと案内する。（顧客は神様だから！）頭取はいくら預金したいのかを彼女に聞く。
彼女は答える、「１６万５千ドルよ！」そしてバッグの中のお金を頭取の机の上にかき出す。
頭取は当然どうやってこのお金を集めたのか気になり、彼女に聞く、「失礼ですがそんなにたくさんのお金を持ち歩いているとはびっくりしました。このお金をどうされたんですか？」
老婆は答える、「賭けをするのよ。」
頭取はまた質問する、「賭け？どんな賭けです？」
老婆は言う、「そうね、例えば、２万５千ドルを賭けるけどあなたの睾丸は四角いわ。」
「ふん！」と頭取は笑う、「それは馬鹿な賭けだ。そんな賭けに勝てる訳が無いじゃないですか！」 老婆は挑戦する、「それじゃ、賭けに乗る？」
「いいですとも、」と頭取は言う、「２万５千ドル賭けるけれど私の睾丸は四角く無い！」
老婆はそして言う、「分かったわ。だけどたくさんのお金が関係してくるから、明日の朝１０時に弁護士を証人として連れてきてもいい？」
「もちろん！」と自信満々の頭取は答える。
その晩、頭取はかなり賭けに対してナーバスになり、鏡の前で長い間自分の睾丸が四角く無いか横からみたり何度も何度も確認した。彼は完全に自分の睾丸が四角いなどとは言えない事に自信を持てるまで確認しつづける。賭けに勝つために。
次の朝、１０時ちょうど、小さな老婆は弁護士を連れて頭取のオフィスへとやってくる。彼女は弁護士を紹介して、賭けを繰り返す：
「頭取の睾丸が四角いのに２万５千ドル！」
頭取は賭けに同意し、老婆は彼に皆が見えるようにズボンを降ろす事を頼む。頭取は従う。老婆は彼の睾丸をじーっと見つめ、そして触っても良いか聞く。
「まあ、しょうがない。」と頭取は言う、「２万５千ドルは大金だ、あなたが完璧を期したいのは分かる。」 すると頭取は老婆の弁護士が静かに自分の頭を壁に何度もぶつけているのに気づく。
頭取は老婆に聞く、「いったいあなたの弁護士はどうしちゃったんだ？」
彼女は答える、「何でも無いわ、ただ私は彼と１０万ドルの賭けをしたの、今日の午前１０時に、カナダ銀行の頭取の睾丸をこの手に持つって。」
